Have you ever had to share a dryer with people that were not related? Well, this is a first for me and I have hated every single minute of it!! I cannot wait until I graduate, buy a house, and get married. That way, if someone leaves a piece of fucking gum in the dryer, I can yell at them and make them clean it!

Obviously I was not happy to find that someone dried a piece of gum in the dryer. I’m sure it got all over their clothes, but I wasn’t about to share that lovely experience so I ended up cleaning it all out. Fun! Who does that? Like you couldn’t smell or see that shit when you took your clothes out the dryer. Hey, I’ll just leave that in there so everyone has fresh smelling clothes. Sorry, I don’t want my clothes smelling like Winterfresh and having burnt, sticky shit all over them. Call me crazy if you want, but I’m a believer in cleaning up after yourself when you’re sharing a space of any sort.

Today I took Monkey shopping for some clothes. It was fun and he is pretty easy to shop for. He isn’t too picky just yet. Anyway. We shop for him and then he says, “Mom, you should totally get some stuff.” Silly me.

I go to Aeropostle or whatever it is called and try some stuff one. What a freakin’ JOKE!! They really do have some cute stuff, but it is apparently made for anorexic, no boob havin’ 12 year old girls. I am not huge by any means, but good grief. I tried on two shirts, both medium and the first one was so tight around my arms and chest I could hardly breath. Good grief was all I could think. My arms are not much bigger than my 10 year old child’s (yes, I have wimpy arms) and my chest isn’t ginormous or anything. In fact, I’m quite small around. I digress. The second shirt I tried on was one of those, “Hey, I look prego, but I’m not” kind of shirts. It was cute so I thought I would give it a whirl. Uhm, yeah. The elastic that was supposed to go below the girls, poked my girls’ eyes out I guess if you’re a medium, you should be an A or barely a B. If only I could have my pre baby sized girls back. Anyway. I actually laughed out loud when I tried it on. Nothing ever fits me right on top. I dunno why, but it just doesn’t work out for me. I can wear tank tops and t-shirts, but that’s about it. Anything low-cut, off the shoulder, etc. does not work for me. Oh well. I kind of like to leave a little to the imagination anyhow.

After clothes shopping, I had to pick up a few essentials at Wal*Mart. You know what drives me insane? People in the self check lanes. I always use them because I can scan my stuff much faster than the cashiers and I don’t have to make small talk or get pissed when my cashier is rude. Today the woman behind me was a wee bit overzealous. She was all up in my business while I was checking out. She was unloading her shit while I was trying to finish paying. It just annoys the piss out of me. I wanted to say, could you wait your turn? You are seriously invading my space!! The register belts are not as long as a normal check out, so when someone starts unloading while you’re still there, it is quite invasive. And those are just a few of the reasons I HATE shopping!!

I live in WI, but I cannot STAND Brett Favre! He is the biggest whiner ever. Big news, he retired. It is for real this time. I mean, it is all over the news etc. People are being a little ridiculous about it if you ask me. He has been saying this for the past 5 years or something. Did you people not see it coming?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he’s a great player or whatever. I just think he is a baby. They are saying he retired because he was “mentally tired all the time.” I guess. Must be hard playing football for millions of dollars? Good grief. I swear! Pro athletes whine more than any hard working American that I know.

For shits sake, this woman just said she, “Cried” when she heard he was retiring. Rest your head, she is still going to cheer for the Packers.

I’m over it.

Is constantly coming up on MySpace. Quite frankly, it has become the expected.

UGH!! How annoying!

Is either really smart or really stupid. A man can get a Craftsman t-shirt (I think) if they buy lingerie, fine jewelry, or a fragrance. C’mon, bribing men to buy Valentine’s Day gifts? Like I said, really smart or really stupid. Women are not going to be happy when their man puts that shirt on and she got some ‘fine’ jewelry from Sears.

I’m just sayin’.

I have gotten at least 10 friend requests from some woman on MySpace and I keep spamming her but she keeps getting through. I finally sent her a message and asked her to knock it off. Told her it was quite annoying. I hope she gets the hint. If she knows me, she should send me a message and ask why I keep denying her. Oh but she doesn’t know me and she wants me to join her “mommy” group of sorts and I’m not about it.

Do you not understand that me denying you 100x means we are NOT going to be friends? I also want to know how she’s getting by since I marked her spam? It is driving me batty.

And to top it all off, I’m not feeling the best today. I feel like I could puke at any moment. At least I’m not sitting at school right now feeling like poops.

I have gotten a shit ton of Google hits from my Fergie post!! Most of them are coming from foreign countries? Could they be obsessed with her good looks? HAHA, now that was funny.

Maybe she is what they consider beautiful or something. OR maybe, just maybe, they are trying to figure out what in the hell that thing is that is popular and making millions in the US. If I was them, I would be baffled as well. Why does she make millions? She isn’t good looking and I don’t thinks she’s really all that talented. Shit, she’s not even potty trained!!

Lets have another look.

Uh oh. Someone doesn’t know how to go pee pee in the potty.

(I don’t think that can be explained away as an ‘overactive sweat gland’ either. She pissed herself. I know it is old news, but yeah. Just trying to understand why people like her.)

Am I the only person who gets this crap?

Hello,

Please, kindly take your time to understand the content of this email.

I wish to introduce you to a project that would be of immense benefit
 to both of us. Being an executor of wills, it is possible that we may be
 tempted to make fortune out of our client’s situations, when we cannot
 help it, or left with no better option.

The issue I am presenting to you is a case of my client who willed a
 fortune to his next-of-kin. It was most unfortunate that he and his
 next-of-kin died on the same day in an auto-crash. I am now faced with
 indecision about who to pass the fortune to. According to the English law,
 the fortune is supposed to be bequeathed to the government.

However, I don’t belong to that school of thought which proposes that
 the fortune of unlucky people be given to the government. I therefore
 seek for your assistance in presenting you as next of Kin to the deceased
 being that both of you share the same last names.

Please give your response via return email to my personal email
 address:  sagadoy@ubbi.com. I will reveal other details upon your response to
 this email and as soon as we establish correspondence.

Reward is negotiable.

Yours in Service

Frank Collins Esq.
(Attorney at Law)

OMG, really? I stand to inherit all this money because we share the same last name? I’m such a lucky girl. I wonder how much I have to send him first? Honestly! I cannot believe there are really people who fall for this crap!

In preparation for my trip, I did a little shopping. Monkey had some money burning a hole in his pocket and wanted to go to Target to spend it. Instead of making another trip to Old Navy or something, I decided to get some long sleeved shirts at Target. Now, I don’t normally shop there for clothing because I hate trying stuff on and I know what size I wear at Old Navy.

I find the plain LS tees and grabbed mediums to be safe (I would normally get small at Old Navy). I figured if they shrink, I will be good. Well, I tried them on last night and I was shocked!! I know I have some huge guns (HAHA, yeah right!) but these shirts were almost too tight on my arms!! I just couldn’t believe it. My arms aren’t much larger than my 10yr olds for crying out loud!! I couldn’t help but think, “Does the average woman really have smaller arms that me?” And I have some puny ass arms for real. I just don’t understand who they think really has that small of arms. I think a medium is like an 8-10 or something and there is just no freakin’ way this shirt would fit ANY average sized woman loose like. They weren’t fitted t’s or anything, just regular old t-shirts. I dunno, just thought it was kind of odd. I guess I learned my lesson, buy stuff at the place you know it fits you? Oh well. The shirts will be fine, I just won’t dry them in the dryer?

UGH!! Every single freakin’ time I go to the USPS here in town, I have to deal with the crotchety old beotches!! Honestly, I just want to ship my package and not deal with their attitudes.

Today my package cost $3.49 to ship and I decided to use my Visa gift card that I got for Christmas. Monkey and I had this one to split and there wasn’t much left so I just decided to use it up. Well, the lady stared at if for 5min after I told her it was a gift card. She said, “Do you have a pin number, it says it’s a debit card.” I said, “No you can just run it as credit.” She then proceeds to tell me it is not valid if it is not signed and makes me sign the damn thing AFTER she asks for two forms of ID! WTF? Do most people have two forms of ID with them at all times? I said, “Here. My drivers license, my AAA card, and all my other cards with my name. What do you want?” I was SO irritated and this is the same woman who made me sign my regular debit card before she would swipe the damn thing! She didn’t care if I had ID, she wasn’t swiping it without a signature!

Honestly, the purchase was $3.49 and it was postage!! Does she think I’m going to rob someone’s card and mail shit all over the world? You know, really wreak havoc on some poor sap. Wow, think of the damage I could do! Funny thing about this, stores rarely ask for your ID, they just swipe your card even if the purchase is $100 or more. I think the lady at the USPS is just a stupid beotch and likes having some authority over the little people who are not smart enough to work for the government!! HAHA, now that shit right there was funny.

I think I’m done bitching for now